In 2011 I told myself I wanted a record deal. And by the end of the year I had signed one. Turns out that the deal was forged in the fires of Mordor. Where is Frodo when you need him? A number of misleading promises were made and I bit, hook line and SUCKER. I decided to write this becuase I literally received an email that all of the unsold discs were going to be burned, as if they had never existed. I could of course rescue them for a discounted price. What a nightmare hey? I can tell you, this is a record deal horror story. But I the good news is. I didn’t die.
a few years back I determined that if I went back to college to get a degree in a field of my choosing that it would be the one that I had the best chance of making the most money. So I quickly decided that college in that way was not for me. The world doesn’t need more people trying to make the most money they can. The world needs people that wanna live. And I wanna live.
I work my ass off. I can say that, because I do. Nothing has ever come easy. I have no network, no fraternity, no inside connections. I live in Montana, (by choice.) So I have to work my ass off. A musical servant of sorts, I have spent countless hours planning musical revelry for people of all different faiths and backgrounds. I have been over-promised, under delivered, lied to, signed to record deals and shelved. Ive been written off, marginalized and even personally attacked .. I have more money unpaid and collateral damage from from the time spent touring churches and gospel circuits than I can count. At every turn I have had the opportunity to turn into a victim of the hordes of flesh eating zombies. But I can’t afford to grow bitter. I can’t afford to sulk. You stop, you die. And I wanna live.
Before this starts to sound like a complaint log, let me pull over and spank the whiny kids in the back seat. I will turn this car around! (Yes I believe in spankings.) I have made a ton of mistakes along the way in regards to the business side of music, because I have always led with my heart. So when the president of a label accused me of being something other and told me to pretend to be something else to sell more records along with a number of passive aggressive accusations ….. Count me out. Keep your fake tanned morality and music. I can’t fake it. I wanna live.
in 2012 I walked out the record deal. I poured money sweat and blood into a record that I approached as the last one I make. It was a record made from a desire to see people stop being so divided. Now they will all be burned. Should I share this with you? I don’t know. I don’t care. I am proud of Polarized.
At then end of 2012 I wanted out. But they wanted to collect on the 2 remaining record options. I was going to have to spend 3 more years sewn into a place I didn’t belong. The only way to destroy the deal was to return it from whence it came… the fires of the Mountain Mordor…. Be careful what you wish for:) I will spare you the details and strategy, of which there was. So after about 5 months of trekking, it was finally done. LIBERATION. We had successfully wrestled the remaining two options away and threw them deep pit.
Currently, I don’t know what the future holds. I can’t say if I will accomplish every goal I have in the music industry, but it wont be for lack of trying. It won’t be because I watched it pass by. Naysayers and critics will always ‘know better’. They told me it couldn’t be done. They will tell you the same. But like Anthony Hopkins in Legends of the fall said… “Screw Em”
That brings me to you, the reader. Thanks by the way. You’ve probably been marginalized and lied to. You’ve probably been wrestling somewhere in between the real world and dreams of yesterday. At some point you have probably fantasied about running through the hallways of your old highschool and busting down the double doors to your 10 year reunion and screaming there is no such thing as the real world. (Thanks John. Not only did you copy my voice but you had to move to Montana too)
Pick yourself up. You can’t stop now. We are still here and still alive. And you wanna live.